The Amazingly Untitled LotR Fanfiction!
by SuperWafer
Summary: Join Chelsea and Emily has they get poofed to Middle Earth and meet their favorite characters. And with Chelsea and Emily, there is always going to be hilarity... or insanity. Cowritten with Chechuck. [IN PROGRESS]
1. A Fantastical Prologue

Disclaimer: We don't own any LotR characters, but we do own ourselves…yup.

"…and that's why the world should celebrate Llama Day!" Chelsea exclaimed.

"You present an interesting case…" Emily replied, thought she, too, thought that the world should celebrate llamas in all their fuzzy glory.

Suddenly, Chelsea saw something round and orange-colored rolling down the street.

"Tangerine!" she yelled, causing Emily to drop her bag of sour skittles, letting them freely scatter on the ground.

"Eep!" Emily shouted in surprise.

Chelsea chased after the tangerine that continued to roll down the road.

"Chelsea, come back," Emily called as she ran immediately after her. When Emily finally caught up with her, Chelsea was staring at a randomly placed tangerine tree.

"Ooohhh… pretty," was all Chelsea could say in this state of amazement.

"Uh… I think…" Emily started, but was cut of with a hush by Chelsea.

"It's a magic tangerine wishing tree. I'm going to pick a tangerine and wish for something." Chelsea picked a tangerine and held it close to her bosom. "Hmm… what should I wish for? I know! I wish we were in Middle Earth," she said dreamily. Random music in the background started to build up, but then… nothing happened.

"Hmm…" Chelsea bemused. "Maybe this tree is from Oz." She again held the tangerine close and began to chant, "There's no place like Middle Earth. There's no place like Middle Earth…" while clicking her chucks together.

The music was building up and Emily's eyes grew wide, but again, nothing happened.

"Darnit! All I want to do is go to Middle Earth with my friend!" Chelsea screamed in anger at no one in particular. She then threw the tangerine down on the ground.

POOF!


	2. Chapt 1 Two Hot Hobbits

Note: Sorry the last chapter was so short, but it was a prologue anyway…

Disclaimer: We do not own any LotR characters, but we do own ourselves. Weee..

"Woah," Chelsea said, rubbing her eyes. They obviously had fallen asleep. "Toto, we aren't in Kansas anymore…"

"Uh… first of all, I'm not Toto. Second, we don't live in Kansas," Emily said.

"Uh... right," Chelsea replied. She then gasped. "Hotties at 12 o'clock!"

"But it's only 1:30," Emily stated, staring at Chelsea. She then looked at these so called 'hotties'. "Chelsea, do you realize who they are!"

Her mouth then dropped wide open as she gawked at the two beings walking toward them. Chelsea then closed Emily's mouth with a slight tap and said, "Yes, I do!" in a freakishly girly voice. You know… the one you use when your talking about someone you really like.

"Look, Merry! Over there," cried the person on the right.

"Eep! They noticed us, Chelsea," Emily whispered excitedly to her friend.

"Yeah, Pippin! I see them and they look extremely delicious today," the one named Merry said.

Both of them then looked to the other and shouted, "MUSHROOMS!" in unison.

Chelsea and Emily nearly dropped to the ground because… well, they weren't very prepared for that. They're near collapsing had caught Merry and Pippin's attention, though.

"Oh, look, Merry. A couple of lasses," Pippin said, hinting to the two girls. Emily nearly squealed when she heard his hot, Scottish accent.

"He called us lasses, Chelsea!" Emily said, whilst blushing madly. Chelsea just shook her head in embarrassment.

Merry then called out, "Hey, are you two alright?"

"Uh… yeah! We're just… lost?" Chelsea said, unsure. (Lost… haha.. like the show… that Dominic Monaghan is on.. ya know? Oh, forget it…)

"Oh, well… want some mushrooms?" Pippin asked, holding some up for the two confused girls.

"Uh, no thanks," Emily said. "I sort of lost my appetite…"

"So, where are you from?" Pippin asked, while munching on a mushroom.

"Uh… well… uh… that's a… um… good question," Chelsea stammered. "We're from…uh… um… Bree!" Emily just stood there and gaped at Pippin.

"So… who are you staying with in Hobbiton?" Merry asked.

"You see…uh… our house in Bree burnt down, and we lost all our possessions. Um…and in Bree, it's bad luck if your house burns down, so… we had to leave and…um… come here?" Chelsea quickly said.

While all this was happening, Emily finally couldn't hold it in anymore. She immediately ran over and hugged Pippin, clinging to him afterward.

"What's… she doing?" Pippin asked Chelsea.

"Um… she has HAHD. Hyper-active Hugging Disorder… yeah…" Chelsea lied. Merry just nodded his head slowly.

"Anyway…" Chelsea changed the subject. "As I was saying, we have no place to stay."

"Well, why don't you come stay at my place in Buckland," Merry said cheerfully. "We have plenty of room there, and Pippin's staying there, too, so we can all pal around."

"And you're sure you don't mind us staying with you?" Chelsea asked timidly.

"Of course he doesn't," Pippin exclaimed, Emily still clinging around his neck.

"Alrighty then," Chelsea said. "Let's get goin'!"

"Uh… one problem," Pippin said, causing Merry and Chelsea to turn around.

"What would that be?" Merry asked him.

"I can't move."


	3. Chapter 2 My Shiny!

Disclaimer: As much as it pains us to say this, we don't own LotR. We do own, however, ourselves. Please do not take us. Or at least, don't take us if you don't have food.

"You freakin' idiot! You almost gave away that we are from the future… or from… wherever we're from!!!" Chelsea whispered harshly to Emily. Merry and Chelsea had managed to pry Emily's arms from around Pippin's neck, and then gave her something shiny to occupy her attention until they got to Buckland. "Emily, are you even listening to me?!"

"Huh?" Emily said in a daze. She was still staring at her shiny object, which happened to be a pocket watch that Merry had been carrying. "Were you saying something?" she said, looking up.

"Oh, just forget it," Chelsea said, sighing. She then continued, "Just don't mention anything about where we're from."

"You mean Bree?" Emily looked at Chelsea with her head tilted to the side.

"No! I mean where we're _really_ from," Chelsea explained. She then began to think of ways to keep Emily's stupidity from ruining everything.

"Okie dokie!" Emily agreed. Then, turning her attention back to the watch, she skipped up ahead to walk alongside Pippin and Merry. Chelsea decided to catch up, too.

Emily sighed. "Why can't we drive in a car? My feet hurt!" Chelsea then immediately stepped in to save the day, stepping on Emily's foot along the way.

"Car?" Merry stopped walking and tilted his head. The rest of the party did the same- even Emily.

"Ahem. Um… Emily was talking about….about our wagon! Yeah… She said 'car' because that's the name of our wagon- Car!" Chelsea blurted out quickly, sweating a little.

"We have a wagon?!" Emily piped up, but then found an apple mysteriously placed in her mouth. "Mmmmm..mmm..mmmm…!" Emily then spit out the apple and started into the chorus of "Make Me Smile" by Chicago. The rest ignored her.

Merry changed the subject. "Alright, then! Now that that's taken care of, I can assure you that Buckland isn't too far away." Something then nudged him on the elbow, and Merry turned to look at whoever did it. "Yes, Pippin?"

Pippin pouted and said, "Merry, I want some mushrooms."

"Pip, we just had some mushrooms." Pippin frowned and fell on his knees dramatically, looking very much like a hungry orphan.

"Please, Merry… May I have some more?" Merry sighed and nodded, and Pippin ran off to a nearby patch of mushrooms. Meanwhile, Emily and Chelsea were having their own conversation.

"You idiot!" Chelsea hoarsely whispered, her eyes bulging. "You nearly…you… I… A CAR?! Why would you mention that? Does it look like they've invented vehicular transportation yet… or even the word 'vehicular transportation'?"

"Hey…" Emily began, looking dazed. A broad smile spread across her face. "Your hair is brown!"

Chelsea dramatically fell to the ground, mumbling things such as "Why me?" and "Gumbi, where have you gone?" Merry and Pippin stared awkwardly at the scene.

Swiftly, Chelsea stood and gave Emily a knock on the head and turned to Merry and Pippin, saying, "Shall we be going then?" Her eye twitched.

**And there it is- the new installment of The Amazingly Untitled (and un-updated) LotR Fanfiction (that we totally had to double check the name of while writing this)! We promise it will not be another two years until we update. Hopefully it will only be another two hours at the most.**


	4. Chapter 3 Disorderly Disorders

Disclaimer: Who doth dare say we do not own LotR? Oh yeah, the government… But I doth dare say that we owneth ourselves, and if thou stealeth us, we shall be very puteth outeth. (Maybe that was a little too many 'eth's..)

Somewhere along the trails of Buckland, the party of four were walking. They were not chanting "Lions and tigers and bears, oh my!" or singing "We're off to see the wizard." No, that is another tale for another time…

There were, however, shooting the breeze, when Emily suddenly stopped, stiff as a stone.

"Emily, are you feeling alright?" Merry said, for he was the first to notice.

In response, Emily turned to a nearby bush, crashed to her knees, and broke out into song. "I look to the sea. Reflections on the waves spark my memories. Some happy, some sad. I think of childhood friends and the dreams we had. We live happily forever, so the story goes…" A hand made its way to her mouth. "Mmmm mmm mmm mmmmmmm…" Emily continued to make dramatic hand motions.

Pippin spoke up. "Has she the influenza?" He looked oddly concerned.

"No, she just has the SING disorder: Singing Irrationally to Non-moving Greenery." Beads of sweat rolled down Chelsea's forehead. She then let out a piercing scream. "EMILY! Quit biting me!"

Emily unlatched her teeth from Chelsea's hand. "Don't worry about her- she has IBAD: Irrational Bouts of Anger Disorder."

Merry leaned to Pippin and whispered, "They have a lot of disorder in their lives, don't they?" Pippin still held a concerned look as he stared at Emily.

Jumping up, Emily began to cartwheel non-stop. That is, until she ran into a stump. "Carl, I told you not to get under my feet like that! Bad Carl!" She smacked the side of the stump.

In the meantime, Chelsea's face was growing more red every second. Her eyes bulged and a random vein popped out of the side of her head. "Full… of…HAAAAAATE!!!" She clenched her fists and flailed her arms wildly. Pippin and Merry ran to join Emily, who was, by this point, cowering behind Carl.

Emily turned to the two hobbits and said, "See? She has really bad IBAD!" Chelsea held back a number of profanities waiting to burst out of her mouth.

Merry got up and dusted his breeches off. He walked over to stand beside Chelsea. "Um, Chelsea…?"

"WHAT?!" Chelsea screeched, still not quite calmed down. Merry recoiled.

"Um, I… I just wanted to say that we're here."

Emily and Pippin popped up from behind Carl. They yelled in unison, "Huzzah!"

"Yes, civilization! Finally!" Chelsea squealed as she merrily hugged Merry around the neck. A slight blush appeared on Merry's cheeks as he awkwardly hugged her back.

"EGAD!" Emily yelled, pointing at the scene. "Merry and Chelsea are in love! And they're going to get married, and have babies, and name one Harry Connick Jr.!" The last thing Emily saw was Chelsea standing over her with a large rock in her hands before everything faded to bright pink.

**Yay, another chapter! All in one night! BANGARANG! Just kidding. Anywho, hope you enjoyed it! We leave you now to go eat something. (P.S. The song Emily bursts into is "Come Sail Away" by Styx. We highly suggest you go listen to it to get the full effect.)**


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